“Older women, likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

Titus 2:3-5(ESV)

What is spiritual mothering? Susan Hunt, in her book of the same name, gives a clear and concise definition: “When a woman possessing faith and spiritual maturity enters into a relationship with a younger woman in order to encourage and equip her to live for God’s glory.”

In this definition, we see the:

Who:  spiritually mature women 

What: encouraging and equipping relationships

Why: to live for God’s glory

In his letter to Titus, the Apostle Paul mentors a fellow servant and godly leader in the organization of the churches through the appointment of spiritually mature elders, as well as instructions on proper conduct and the roles of various smaller groups in the church. In our above passage, we can also see:

Who: older women

What: teach and train good things

Why: so that the word of God may not be reviled

This is clearly a directive from God for women to be spiritual mothers, disciplers, and mentors.  So let’s look a bit closer.

Older women, likewise…

When we read this passage in context, it is a set of instructions to the various groups in the church. As Believers, we are all in the LORD’s service and are to adhere to the same expectations. So there is some overlapping here. Right before, the older men of the church were given instructions to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. These are things that the older women are to do “likewise”. In terms of the “older” ones, these are the ones most likely older in chronological age (but not necessarily) that are in a place of honor and respect within the church community, that have come to the place of spiritual maturity to be able to disciple the younger believers. 

…are to be reverent in their behavior

The definition of reverent here is of supreme importance. Reverent behavior means befitting holiness. It conveys the wholeness of her person that is befitting of divine service. Her speech, dress, demeanor, and actions should be reflective of this holiness and of her respect for the LORD and his ordinances. 

…not slanders…

The word slanderer is “diablos” in Greek. It is used to describe the devil as an accuser, destroyer, and one who leads others astray. It is done by unjustly criticizing and speaking ill of someone in order to hurt them or destroy a relationship. This is the opposite of what one in holy service should be doing. In the context of a church community, mature believers are to “build up” the church in word and deed. This slanderous type of speech causes only disunity and division within the body. 

…or slaves to much wine.

The idea of sobriety is in view here. Just as the older men are directed to be sober-minded and self-controlled, so also the older women are not to be under the servitude of anything but God. Being under the influence of anything but God can hinder clear-mindedness and affect the proper conduct of one in divine service. 

They are to teach what is good…

Here we begin to see what reverent behavior produces. Because of her reverence for the LORD and his commands, she understands and has responded to his goodness. Therefore, she can teach what is good. This is not just doling out knowledge, but giving guidance towards righteous behavior and virtuous living. 1 Tim. 2:10

…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,

The word to “train” in Greek involves much more than in our English language. It is the word Sophronizo that details a specific type of training. It literally means to admonish, correct, and disciple in “living in divine moderation” and “transforming someone to be radically-balanced according to the LORD’s will”. The aim here for the “trainee” is to achieve a healthy and sensible understanding of God’s will that produces a balanced and disciplined life. This begins with love. This love is not conditional, not solely based on emotion, but is a true, deep, long-suffering love towards husband and children. It is an affectionate devotion embraced as a calling from God.

…to be self-controlled and pure,

Again, we see the concept of divine balance here. Women, and particularly young women, have the tendency to be emotional.  This is not a bad thing, it is the way we are made to be in order for us to be the “heart of our home”. But when not controlled, it can make us fickle and unbalanced, causing our choices or reactions to be rash and, at times, regretful. So, training in godly wisdom will guide the young woman to have a rational approach to life and govern emotive impulses when dealing with husbands and children in difficult or stressful situations.

The concept of purity in this context- chaste, holy, free from defilement or corruption-  gives direction to the motive behind what we are to do. These commands are not to be just duties or reasons for accolades, but are to come from a refined desire to serve the LORD. 

…working at home,

The role of women in relation to the home is what is meant here, as opposed to not working outside of the home to earn income. A woman can work outside of the home, but her main focus is on building and managing her home and household affairs. This is a complementary role to the husband as head of the home. Her role as home manager is one that emphasizes stewardship, care, and wisely “building up her home” by ensuring the atmosphere and family are well cared for physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

…kind,

For a woman to be taught and trained to be kind gives us an indication that we can easily be unkind when frustrated, overworked, or underappreciated. However, it is a reminder to remember we are not women of the world. We are in reverent divine service, and we are to reflect the character of God in his patience, kindness and gentlesness toward his loved ones. 

…and submissive to their own husbands,

Historically, women in ancient times were not always treated with respect. They had few rights, were seen as second-class citizens, and were to submit to all men in general. Here, we see the God-honoring design for the family structure as well as an elevated status in which she is to submit to her own husband. This submission is not one of force, but willingly submits in mutual respect and love, just as her Savior submitted to the Father. 

…that the word of God may not be reviled.

The end result of this passage is in view here. All the examples of reverent behavior, teaching, and training are designed to honor God’s word.  We are to hold God and his word in such high regard as supremely holy so that the outside world may not be able to say anything unjustly critical of God’s standard. We are his image bearers and therefore his representatives. Our words and behaviors should reflect this to the world. Sadly, many women in the church are giving ample reason for God’s word to be reviled, blasphemed, and mocked. But it does not need to be this way. If you are a “spiritually mature” woman, my challenge to you is to look for opportunities to teach and train. It is desperately needed in our churches today. It is necessary because there is a neglect of this command in our believing communities. We see the evidence in every church. Our young women are being influenced by the world’s view of womanhood instead of being influenced by true spiritual mothers. Young women- you are not off the hook. Take the initiative to observe and seek out a spiritual mother. One who will walk alongside you, nurture, and guide you into the ways of the LORD and his definition of womanhood. 

May the Word of the LORD be exalted!

Bianca